Ask For Help. Expect The Unexpected - Your Emergency Plan For When Things Go Wrong (Part 4)

This week we've been talking about unexpected challenges. The little time bombs that always seem to come at the worst time.

We've talked about things you can do  - keeping it simple with simple meals, freezer diving, and the like.

Here's the thing that's really important to do, and it's probably the scariest, hardest, most anxiety-provoking-of-all one for most of you.

Ask for help.

"But Dr. Jill, I can't do that," you may say.  Well, let's think about this for a minute.

Why is it so scary to ask people for help?

I was the queen of this. I was a mother, a doctor, a daughter, a sister, a wife.  I was everything to everybody and I took care of everyone (except myself). 

It wasn't until I had to have foot surgery and had to lie on the couch for 6 weeks and couldn't safely maneuver in the kitchen on my knee scooter that I had to accept some help. And even then, it was still hard to actually ask for help, even after I was diagnosed with breast cancer a week after being allowed to put 20% weight on my foot.

I know you find it hard to ask for help.

I know you find it hard to even accept help that is offered to you.

I get it. I totally get it.

BUT, I promise you that  you have friends, family, and neighbors who would jump at the opportunity to be helpful.

Everyone loves to help - even though most of those same people find it hard to accept help, let alone ask for it (just like you).  Think about how good you feel when you get to help someone. Wouldn't you like to help someone else have some of those feelings?

If you were to ask a friend to cut up some veggies for you, or even make an easy Dr. Fuhrman recipe or two for you, don't you think they would jump at the chance?  I do.

So if you are the one who ended up with a family member in the hospital, lost a loved one, or sprained your ankle, don't be afraid to ask for help. It takes practice. But it's a skill you need to learn.

One more thing:  when someone offers you help, or you ask for it, be sure to specify what you really need.  Don't be afraid to ask. 

You would tell them if you had a food allergy, wouldn't you? If you don't like a particular food, or it's not a food that fits your lifestyle, tell them.  They want to help.  They don't want to make the wrong thing. 

Think about it this way - if you were helping a sick friend, you'd want to bring something you know she would like, wouldn't you?   Something that she could actually use? 

And remember, in asking for help, you are also helping someone else. You are doing them the favor of allowing them to help you. Which is good for both of you.

Part 5 tomorrow: tying it all together